Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
I could be a mess (but I'm not)
Vilayanur S. Ramachandran explored the neural basis of the hyperreligiosity seen in TLE using galvanic skin response, which correlates with emotional arousal, to determine whether the hyperreligiosity seen in TLE was due to an overall enhanced emotional response, or if the enhancement was specific to religious stimuli (Ramachandran and Blakeslee, 1998). By presenting subjects with neutral, sexually arousing and religious words while measuring GSR, Ramachandran was able to show that patients with TLE showed enhanced emotional responses to the religious words, diminished responses to the sexually charged words, and normal responses to the neutral words. These results suggest that the medial temporal lobe is specifically involved in generating some of the emotional reactions associated with religious words, images and symbols.
As Eve LaPlante discusses in her book, Seized, the intense emotions, sensory experience including vibrancy of colors, and particular mental state provoked by temporal lobe abnormalities may have contributed to the creation of significant works of art. A number of well-known writers and artists are known, or in many cases suspected to have had temporal lobe epilepsy, aggravated, in some cases, by alcoholism. They include Charles Dodgson (a.k.a. Lewis Carroll), Edgar Allan Poe, Fyodor Dostoevsky (whose novel The Idiot features an epileptic protagonist, Prince Myshkin), Gustave Flaubert, Philip K. Dick, Sylvia Plath and contemporary author Thom Jones. Peter O'Leary has also discussed this in his "Gnostic Contagion: Robert Duncan and the Poetry of Illness". Sadi Ranson-Polizzotti has discussed the significance of Lewis Carroll's epilepsy online and in a forthcoming book on the subject.
A convulsion is a medical condition where body muscles contract and relax rapidly and repeatedly, resulting in an uncontrolled shaking of the body.[1] Because a convulsion is often a symptom of an epileptical seizure, the term convulsion is sometimes used as a synonym for seizure. However, not all epileptic seizures lead to convulsions, and not all convulsions are caused by epileptic seizures. I have the uncontrollable shaking and it probably has caused muscle skeletal aching.
Brain burn-my term. I think my first two (possibly only) with no meds caused damage to certain areas of my temporal lobe. I can feel my memories reconfiguring. Almost like moving. Some studies have shown abnormalities of the hippocampus on magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) in status epilepticus, which supports the theory that prolonged seizures damage the brain.[7][8][9]
I am particularly interest to the heightened and diminished responses to religious and sexually charged words. That is me and it is peculiar because it normally represents a conscious dissonance.
I am thinking that because I do not lose consciousness that I am experiencing Simple Partial Seizures (SPS) that are elevating. That would make them amendable to drugs as opposed to surgery. But I do think my latest episodes are indicating a transition to Complex Partial Seizures (CPS) which is why I am not driving. (Because judgment is impaired, persons experiencing CPS may not legally drive vehicles for periods of time which are set by local governments worldwide.)
An aura is the perceptual disturbance experienced by some migraine sufferers before a migraine headache, and the telltale sensation experienced by some people with epilepsy before a seizure. It often manifests as the perception of a strange light, an unpleasant smell or confusing thoughts or experiences.
I experienced one today. It was the first onset to a seizure (as I prefer to call them) since I have been on meds which will be adjusted to an anticonvulsant as opposed to a benzodiazapine. I have a room at the clinic I can go to to determine if I will full blow. I did not thank God. I am getting treatment none to early. Should have been 2006 but oh well.
An aura sensation can include some or a combination of the following:
- Visual Changes.
- Bright lights.
- Zigzag lines.
- Distortions in the size or shape of objects.
- scintillating scotoma
- Shimmering, pulsating patches, often curved.
- Tunnel vision
- scotoma
- Blind or dark spots in the field of vision.
- Curtain-like effect over one eye.
- Slowly spreading spots.
- Kaleidoscope effects on visual field
- Total temporary monocular (in one eye) blindness (in retinal migraine)[2].
- Auditory changes
- Hearing voices or sounds that do not exist: true auditory hallucinations.
- Modification of voices or sounds in the environment: buzzing, tremolo, amplitude modulation or other modulations.
- Strange smells (Phantosmia).
- Feelings of numbness or tingling on one side of the face or body.
- Feeling separated from one's body.
- Feeling as if the limbs are moving independently from the body.
- Feeling as if one has to eat or go to the bathroom.
- Anxiety or fear.
- Nausea.
- Weakness, unsteadiness.
- Saliva collecting in the mouth.
- Being unable to understand or comprehend spoken words during and after the aura.
- Being unable to speak properly, despite the brain grasping what the person is trying to verbalize. (Aphasia)
Do you get these? I am learning to determine these a precursors and taking appropriate steps to not elevate the experience. Today I felt like Alice in Wonderland 10 feet tall in a 2 foot room. So I got down there as quickly as possible because I knew what was happening.
I am not that worried about the testing. I have terrible upper left side aches but I think I did suffer some brain damage as I stated. I trip on the heart issue but I was assured that is NOT a problem. I am confident with the team I am developing (would not disinclude you-thanks).
I think my flashbacks are real but distorted. For example, are all these people connected besides by me and my recollections. But I can't go into a lot of that right now because of my incident today. I had a breakdown after Barbara's kidnap and rape and the dissolution of Sean in the household. I became more receptive to the guinea pig phenomena. I also think this hardcore recollection was either a inducement or a byproduct of the onset of Complex Partial Seizures (CPS). And I do know that Heinlein's thinking was radically changing while I was around him. Also, psybio was all about drugs at that time. I am grouping my thoughts in the with labels in the blog. to tie in the people and personnas who were on campus at the time. I think that my left handedness and the area affected tie into my religious sexual programming. My cases of point may be too graphic sexually but you can get a picture. Now with religion, left to right reading is English as opposed to Hebrew/Arabic (Semitic). Reading Hebrew was a partial trigger. It was disorienting.
The prevailing wisdom on why Hebrew (and Arabic) are written right to
left has to do with the fact that they started out as language that
were chiseled on stone tablets and the mechanics of holding the chisel
in the left hand and hammering with the right lead to the right to
left orientation.
Here is another cofactor for me because of the massive onset in May Panic disorder may coexist with epilepsy | |
| Panic disorder may coexist with epilepsy and be a significant source of distress or disability. An aura of anxiety or fearfulness (ictal fear) may be confused with panic attacks. Recent studies have reported evidence, demonstrated by positron emission tomography and magnetic resonance imaging, suggesting that the lesion in panic disorder may be in temporal lobes. The findings lend additional support to the idea that these illnesses may be related. In line with earlier reports, a recent paper, to be published in Journal of Anxiety Disorders (available online 13 June 2005) posits the existence of a subgroup of panic attacks with the clinical features of the epileptic aura, and so must be considered and diagnosed as simple partial seizures (SPSs) with a psychic content. In the paper, research is presented to support a hypothesis that panic attacks, when they have the same clinical signs as the epileptic consciousness, should be diagnosed as partial seizures with a psychic content. After setting out the four clinical signs defining it (suddenness, automatic nature, great intensity and strangeness), the authors made an extensive review of the literature in search of scientific information to support the hypothesis, which reveals a wealth of concurring scientific evidence, at both the clinical and preclinical levels, to support the hypothesis presented in this paper. The authors found several major sets of information to support and reinforce their hypothesis that panic attacks occurring with the clinical signs characterizing the aura are to be interpreted as SPSs. The authors conclude by saying that panic attacks observed clinically with the features of suddenness, strangeness, great intensity and automatic nature should be interpreted as SPSs. They stress that the next step will be to fix scales and standard clinical interviews in order to objectify presence of such signs and thereby distinguish panic attacks of an epileptic nature from other, more reactive, acute anxiety disorders. Epilepsy: Epilepsy is a neurological disorder causing repeated seizures or fits in the patient. This can happen to anybody without age difference. The symptoms of the condition may be having inappropriate sensations and emotions, behaving inappropriately, or muscle spasms and loss of consciousness. The seizures that occur in young children are called Febrile convulsions. |
Sorry about my cut and paste. Makes my emails a little weird. My idea of a blog would be two brothers so far away and different become so close. And not so far away and different. It also adds a touch of the ancient art of communication. We could call but that would change the discourse. I'm sure of it. You become part of one's mind when you write. We have lost that. The other interesting aspect of email is it is instant and multidimensional. Most people don't write anymore. They jabber. They don't think when they talk. I have to be honest when I write. I am basically digital in my thought storage and improvisational in my communication. I anticipate and manipulate responses in verbal conversations. That has to do with talking my way out of peculiar situations. Or sometimes talking myself into them! But we have a heck of a lot of material.
Anyway you know me well now. My life has been peculiar. I'm not overtly sexual. I think it has to do with my detached emotions to sexuality. I have done a lot of drugs but I am not a burnout. I have subjective religious overtones in my thinking. Now I am beginning to realize my fullness has to do with a brain abnormality? Somehow it makes me more human. Unique.
I came unraveled online. Dog finally said to me today he realized how terrified I was in all this. That is why he is a good friend. Charlie got caught in a true electrical storm and it terrified him. I wasn't looking for anyone but I found someone. Or vice versa. You touched me by caring. That simple. Kukua from Ghana doesn't know what happened and I won't tell her. "Dr" Berstein thinks I'm gay because I get real with women.
I'm a pop culture pimple that popped. I just want to get better but not too if you get my drift. But I can write now because I can tap my wellspring of distinctness instead of similarity which is the art of pop culture.
You have an interesting mind. That intrigues me in men. It's what I call intellectual eroticism as opposed to sexual eroticism but it took me a long time to understand the difference. I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Long day
Love you and thank you. By the way have you read Philip K. Dick?
| Tests To Be Done | Ordered | Ordering Provider | |
| T4, TOTAL (THYROXINE) | 06/25/09 | Allan A. DOROSIN MD | |
| TSH | 06/25/09 | Allan A. DOROSIN MD | |
| MR HEAD SEQ WITH CONTRAST | 06/25/09 | Allan A. DOROSIN MD | |
| ECG AND INTERPRETATION (ORDERS ONLY) SZ | 06/25/09 | Allan A. DOROSIN MD |
Dorosin is doing full workup including tumors. And electrocardiogram for heart. and thyroid. He is a good guy. He did not have to order all that but he is thorough and kind. I am glad I do not come across as strange but humane. So I am glad I wore underwear. I do better without my dick dangling. Sorry! But formality escapes me on days like these and I love you as a friend as well as a brother. Good night.
One last thing my brain on music. lol
Thursday, June 25, 2009
My Brain
Current report information as of: Tuesday, June 23, 2009 5:48:35 PM
HOMEBASE:
SANTA CRUZ MEDICAL FOUNDATION
SANTA CRUZ, CA 95062
RADIOLOGY REPORT
Name: CLARK,RICHARD DOB: 10/04/1955 CHART#:
Exam Date: 06/23/2009 Report Status: Final ACCT: 18152603
ORD MD: Hendrix MD, Rosemarie ORD LOC: SCMF XRAY LOC: MNXRAY
Order#: CPT: Exam:
SCC0904806 70450 CT HEAD W/O CONTRAST
_______________________________________________________________
PROCEDURE: Routine 3 mm axial images of the head was obtained
without contrast.
INTERPRETATION: The brain parenchyma appears normal. The
gray-white matter interface is normal. No midline shift is
evident. The ventricular system is intact. No abnormal intra- or
extra-axial fluid collection is defined. The calvaria appears
intact. Visualized portions of the paranasal sinuses and mastoid
air cells are clear.
IMPRESSION: Negative study.
Dictated By: Washowich, MD, Timothy
Dictate Date/Time: 06/23/2009 12:08:47
Electronically Signed: 5002 Timothy Washowich, MD
Signed Date/Time: 06/23/2009 12:10:46
________________________________________________________________
D: 06/23/2009
CLARK,RICHARD
120 CATALPA ST
SANTA CRUZ, CA 95062
CONFIDENTIAL
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Google Trend for Today
parp inhibitor
Hotness: On Fire
Related searches:
parp inhibitor clinical trials, parp, parp inhibitors, brca1, mcpフリーク
Peak:
4 hours ago
| News articles |
PARP Inhibitor Shows Specificity for BRCA Tumors
MedPage Today
, USA
- Jun 24, 2009
- 5 hours ago
"This tumor-specific defect can be exploited by using PARP inhibitors to induce selective tumor cytotoxicity, sparing normal cells," the authors said. ...
PARP Inhibitor shows very encouraging results in metastatic breast ...
Gerson Lehrman Group
, USA
- Jun 03, 2009
- Jun 03, 2009
PARP inhibitors affect cancer cells by altering their ability to replicate DNA and grow. In theory and in animal models, they work syngergistically with ...
Promising Results in Stomach and Breast Cancer Drugs
New York Times
- May 31, 2009
- May 31, 2009
Two other small studies showed some promise for a PARP inhibitor being developed by AstraZeneca. In a third announcement at the conference, scientists said ...
PARP inhibitors asctive in BRCA1/2, triple-negative breast cancers
HemOncToday
, USA
- Jun 04, 2009
- Jun 04, 2009
BSI-201 is a small molecular PARP inhibitor that enhances the effects of chemotherapy-induced DNA damage. According to O'Shaughnessy, the drug demonstrated ...
| Blog posts |
PARP Inhibitor | Cancer Research News
2 hours ago
PARP Inhibitor are substances that that have an action on cancer cells altering their ability to grow and replicate DNA. According to some studies it should.
http://toppayingideas.com/blog/
PARP Inhibitor maybe effective therapies for cancers with BRCAness ...
2 hours ago
PARP Inhibitor is in the hottest trends of today's Google search. What i have found about this PARP Inhibitor is that a human gene encodes a.
New Cancer Drug Fights Tumors in Those With BRCA Mutations ...
3 hours ago
The second PARP inhibitor trial involved 54 women with advanced breast cancer who carried the BRCA mutations. In this trial, 41 percent of patients saw their tumors disappear. There was a slightly lower response rate in the lower-dose ...
Maps (UCSC Version) - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Terence Mckenna, Sheldrake and Abraham
A discussion with Rupert Sheldrake, Terence McK... (more) Added: December 03, 2007 A discussion with Rupert Sheldrake, Terence McKenna and Ralph Abraham from Metamorphosis recorded at Esalen. Terence McKenna (1946-2000) has been studying the ontological foundations of Shamanism and the Ethnopharmacology of spiritual transformation for the past quarter century. An innovative theoretician and spellbinding orator, Terence has emerged as a powerful voice for the psychedelic movement and the emergent societal tendency he calls The Archaic Revival. Poetically dispensing enlightened social criticism and new theories of the fractal dynamics of time, Terence deobfuscates many aspects of the visionary lexicon, and then some. As Artist Alex Grey suggests, "In the twilight of human history, McKenna's prescription for salvation is just so crazy it might work." Rupert Sheldrake is a biologist and author. He studied natural sciences at Cambridge and philosophy at Harvard, where he was a Frank Knox Fellow. He took a Ph.D. in biochemistry at Cambridge in 1967 and was a Fellow of Clare College, Cambridge, where he was Director of Studies in biochemistry and cell biology until 1973. As a Research Fellow of the Royal Society, he carried out research at Cambridge on the development of plants and the aging of cells. In addition to his numerous books, he is the author of more than fifty papers in scientific journals. His experiments into unusual and unexplained perceptiveness in humans make a compelling case that intuition, precognition, and telepathy are not paranormal, but are, in fact, normal functions drawn from our biological past. RALPH H. ABRAHAM has been Professor of Mathematics at the University of California at Santa Cruz since 1968. He received the Ph.D. in Mathematics at the University of Michigan in 1960, and taught at Berkeley, Columbia, and Princeton before moving to Santa Cruz. He has held visiting positions in Amsterdam, Paris, Warwick, Barcelona, Basel, and Florence, and is the author of more than 20 texts, including eight books currently in print. He has been active on the research frontier of dynamics -- in mathematics since 1960, and in applications and experiments since 1973. He has been a consultant on chaos theory and its applications in numerous fields (medical physiology, ecology, mathematical economics, psychotherapy, etc.) and is an active editor for the technical journals World Futures, and the International Journal of Bifurcations and Chaos. In 1975, he founded the Visual Mathematics Project at the University of California at Santa Cruz, which became the Visual Math Institute in 1990, with its popular World Wide Web site since early 1994. He has performed works of visual and aural mathematics and music (with Ami Radunskaya and Peter Broadwell) since 1992. http://deoxy.org/t_ppp.htm http://www.sheldrake.org http://www.ralph-abraham.org/
Neurologist Intro
June 25, 2009
Dr. Dorosin
Neurologist
1661 Soquel Dr.
Santa Cruz, CA 95065
RE: Introductory Visit 2:30PM
Statement of Symptoms
My first recollections of symptoms occurred in 1982. I was hit by a rear view mirror on a truck going at a slow speed. I had a seizure that cause my body to tremble uncontrollably about 2 days after the incident. I made the association to the accident but have no verification of that correlation. It was traumatic but not violent. I experienced no real significant pain from the incident. This was the left side of my head on the temple.
I would have these type of seizures about every 5-7 years and have had no treatment or follow up. In 1993, I had my most severe incident to that date. I passed out in downtown Santa Cruz. I got extremely sweaty and began to tremble and then passed out. I received no help and I am not sure of the time frame but I am assuming only minutes because there was a crowd around me. I also knew they were uncomfortable of helping me because I remember some comments I heard as I was coming to.
My next incident was in 1998 with the same type of symptoms. I would sweat profusely and elevate (a reference to my mind becoming jumbled and my heart racing) and passing out. I had not other incidences until mid 2002. I thought perhaps they had subsided.
In 2002, I woke up and was choking on my vomit. I assumed I was sick by I was extremely lethargic and disorientated. Because of my age and general good health, I would recuperate easily so I tried not to pay much attention. I was an avid biker and runner. I also smoked but did not drink and had a good diet.
In 2006, I suffered something unusual but seemingly related. I woke up with an extreme headache and realized I was droopy on my left side of my face. I also has trouble eating and was intermittently slurring my words. This is when I began my weight loss. I was generally comfortable but I realized that eating and talking were problematic so I didn't do much of either. I changed my diet and got a medical marijuana recommendation to begin to control the symptoms. I had lost my health insurance the year before and could not afford other types of treatment. I also quit eating meat because for some reason my immunities or digestion seemed to have changed quite dramatically. This was the first time having these occurrences that it took a long time of convalescence. I went from 165 to 145 pounds. Because of the slurring I began to make excuses for my speech and I wore double layers of clothing to compensate for the weight loss. During this period, I would occasionally experience extreme stomach aches including massive and immediate breakouts of cold sweats. I would be drenched through my layers of clothes. But afterward, I felt calm, tired and present. I had no other occurrences until this year May 2009.
My first incident I was on the telephone and had to get off immediately. I was drenching in sweat and beginning to pass out. I went to my room and fell in the bed. I began to have disturbing hallucinations and extreme pains in my heart. I had shallow breathing and was simply trying to stay conscious. I was trembling and sweating. It would be hard for me to determine if I passed out because I was alone. I finally managed to get out of bed and went to the bathroom and was throwing up and could not stand up so I went in the tub and urinated and threw up with my clothes on because it was the best I could do. I thought I had a heart attack. My mother had a history of a double major in her sixties and that was my thought of what happened. I was exhausted and I knew it would be a difficult recuperation.
Without health insurance, I used hot lines to describe my symptoms because they were not fully subsiding. I was lethargic, dizzy and prone to uncoordinated motions and seemingly hallucinogenic thoughts. I also started having flashbacks of the past. Two days later, I had an exact similar attack at a neighbors, I told him to call 911 as I was not able to do it myself. Excruciatingly disoriented, in extreme right side pain which I associated with my heart. I could not move. I was immobilized on the floor but I don't think I lost consciousness. In emergency, it was indicated that it was not my heart but I had trembling and they gave me Valium and sent me home at 5:50AM. I had symptoms all day and had another full blown seizure and called 911 myself. Same indications of no heart trouble. Sent home again.
By this time I was using suicide prevention at night because I had no other resources. I was not thinking clearly at all and assumed I must be subconsciously trying to kill myself. My dates may be out of line but the ambulance charges reflect the occurrences. So about a night later, I woke up and could not breathe. I panicked. I, for some reason, could not smoke marijuana at all. Caused too much panic and elevated the symptoms. But I was really panicking and elevating and I asked a neighbor for a 5 mg Valium. This did nothing. I took a shower, went outside and even breathed in and out of a bag. Nothing worked. I was shaking and sweating and called 911 and they sent an ambulance over.
In the hospital when they would ask me to describe my symptoms all I could say was I feel like I am dying. I asked to please be monitored but not drugged do that I could be more coherent of my experience. I am still amazed that I was not admitted throughout this process. The doctor on duty probably saved my life because he gave me an order for Klonopin 5mg tid. This began to alleviate the symptoms. I had a one week supply and when I ran out I called emergency and was told to come in to be evaluated for a refill. I was refused and went home and had a full blown seizure. There were people there and I asked them to come in and monitor me. I was talking gibberish and sweating profusely and then began to shake violently. By this time I knew when the shaking began it was signaling the end of the seizure. So, though it is the scariest part to watch, it was almost a relief to me because I knew I was coming back into my reality.
I then began to demand some kind of treatment or medication to stay alive. I told them I was a reasonable man in an unreasonable situation. Fortunately, I was introduced to a woman named Carla Mason NCO rep at the hospital. I also contacted a a lawyer and explained the situation. Finally, I was using neighbors Valium to maintain some consistency. By June 1st, this was reconciled.
I feel confident with my doctor and she gave me a supply of Klonopin 5mg on script tid and that had made life semi normal. But I have my disorientation and problems on the upper left side of my body. I also have trouble writing. I am left handed and sometime the words don't come out correctly and I have never had trouble spelling before. Many times, I feel like I am going to pass out but I stay close to home and lay down and turn off all lights and sounds. Fast moving objects or conversations will disorient me. So I am pretty much isolated at this point. I went from 150 down to 132 in about 2 weeks. I am now at 138. I feel more in control of the situation than I did in the beginning but I am terrified about having another attack to I take the Klonopin tid. I use no other medications. I gave up nicotine as well and coffee and marijuana. When I used these substances in occasionally, they make me symptomatic. I can type quite well because I will compensate with my right hand and I have spell checker.
My worst disorientation is in the mornings. I just feel way outside my mind. Hollow. My left side dystrophy will occur about noon. I will nap to relive the symptoms and take an afternoon dose. Night are fairly normalized now. I rarely use the phone, I type profusely for therapy and walk my dog. I am obviously not up to full strength. My most difficult concern is I have lost most of my social outlets because of the hallucinations and flashbacks that I was having. They have mostly subsided. My dreams are not as disturbing but the social damage was done. I was pretty much classified as a mental case with no diagnosis. I have no history of such. I have a seizure history that has accelerated dramatically in the last few years particularly the last two months. On a last not, I have a younger sister who had minor epilepsy as a child as was treated with Tegretol but she is 40 now and had no symptoms.
I wish I had more medical history to bring to the table but this is it. I appreciate anything you can do for me. I don't envision a simple diagnosis but I am not a doctor.
Thank you,
Richard
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Summer 1967 to Summer 1969.
We're you even alive then? Watch the moon landing whether you were there or not. It's a lot like the 60's again. Or maybe it's just the flashbacks.
Monday, June 22, 2009
PsychoTropics
I always thought the PsychoTropics were South Beach and Nassau.A psychoactive drug or psychotropic substance is a chemical substance that acts primarily upon the central nervous system where it alters brain function, resulting in temporary changes in perception, mood, consciousness and behavior. These drugs may be used recreationally to purposefully alter one's consciousness, as entheogens for ritual or spiritual purposes, as a tool for studying or augmenting the mind, or therapeutically as medication.
Because psychoactive substances bring about subjective changes in consciousness and mood that the user may find pleasant (e.g. euphoria) or advantageous (e.g. increased alertness), many psychoactive substances are abused, that is, used excessively, despite risks or negative consequences. With sustained use of some substances, physical dependence may develop, making the cycle of abuse even more difficult to interrupt. Drug rehabilitation can involve a combination of psychotherapy, support groups and even other psychoactive substances to break the cycle of dependency.
In part because of this potential for abuse and dependency, the ethics of drug use are the subject of a continuing philosophical debate. Many governments worldwide have placed restrictions on drug production and sales in an attempt to decrease drug abuse.
Foster Children Medicated Without Consent
Agency Review Finds One in Six on Mind-Altering Drugs without Authorization
| (May 28, 2009) |  Add Comment |
Nearly one in six children in the Florida foster care system who had been prescribed psychotropic medication were given the drugs without parental consent or authorization from a judge, despite the state's increased scrutiny of the drugs' use.
That is among the preliminary findings of a review released today by the Florida Department of Children and Family Services (DCF). The review was ordered following the apparent suicide on April 16 of 7-year-old Gabriel Myers, who had been prescribed psychotropic drugs without informed parental consent or a judge's order while in the foster care system. Gabriel reportedly hung himself on a shower rod.
The review by the Florida DCF, using data from its Florida Safe Families Network (FSFN), found that of the 2,669 children in Florida's foster care system who were prescribed psychotropic drugs, there was no record of consent or a judicial order in 433 cases. The statistics did not specify the ages of the children for whom there was no consent on record.
"It's inconceivable to me, with all the attention focused on psychotropics, that the system doesn't have this right yet," Florida DCF Secretary George Sheldon said today when asked how so many children in foster care could be prescribed the drugs without proper authorization.
A 2005 law requires an agency to obtain the consent of a parent or judge before giving mind-altering medications to foster children. Consent is necessary for each prescription.
"I don't think there's any excuse," Sheldon said.
He vowed to take swift action on the 433 cases in which there is no record of parental consent or a judicial order, explaining that there are plans to bring all of the cases into compliance with the law and to get the cases reviewed by a judge by June 5.
Number Disputes
The majority of youths without consent for their prescriptions were served by private agencies that have carried out most child welfare services in the state since the officials began privatizing the system in the early 2000s.
Sheldon conceded during today's telephone news conference that the private agencies managing the cases where youth may have been prescribed the drugs illegally could face contract reviews or termination, and the caseworkers involved could face disciplinary action..
"Stay tuned," Sheldon said, explaining that for the time being, he is more concerned with getting agencies and caseworkers to cooperate and produce reliable information on the extent of the problem of wrongful use of psychotropic drugs for children in state care.
A number of providers said that at least some of the 433 cases simply lack a paper trail; consent was given, but it was not properly documented.
Officials for Miami-based Our Kids, which the report stated had 62 youths prescribed medication with proper authorization, told Youth Today that notification of a change in prescription sometimes makes it into the state database before consent has been sought. In some cases, when youth run away from care or initially refuse to take medication, the agency stops seeking consent since the drug is not being administered, said clinical services director Michelle Montero.
Eckerd Youth Alternatives, a lead agency in Florida's Suncoast Region, had 78 no-consent cases according to the report. A spokeswoman for the agency said that over the past two weeks when it reviewed every single child in its care, it identified 25 children that fit into the no-consent category.
Eckerd spokeswoman Karen Bonsignori believes the discrepancy of 53 cases likely is due to incomplete reporting of consensual prescriptions on the part of the group Eckerd subcontracts with to provide case management. Eckerd will be entering information into FSFN from now on, Bonsignori said.
Sheldon conceded that the review's findings may be flawed and there are efforts under way to validate the findings.
"We have to get the database in better shape," Sheldon said.
Causes and Solutions
How did the actual no-consent cases happen? A primary cause cited by lead agencies is that mental health developments in a child's life can occur more frequently than visits with lead agency staff do.
"A kid can see one doctor, then move to another doctor," said Hillsborough Kids CEO Jeff Rainey, whose organization did not have consent for 52 of the psychotropically medicated youths in its care. "Sometimes the medications get changed. There's a catch-up factor."
Foster parents are supposed to let agencies know if a child is prescribed psychotropic medication as part of the bilateral agreement they have with lead agencies, said Gregory Kurth, executive director of Family Services of Metro Orlando (FSMO), which the DCF report said had 63 children on prescribed medication without consent. "That may not necessarily happen every time."
Rainey concedes that none of these factors is an excuse. "It's a complex process," he said, "but at the end of day it's our responsibility."
The Gainesville-based Partnership for Strong Families (PSF) had only one child with a non-consent prescription. PSF President Shawn Salamida said his organization has been diligent about monitoring for changes in medication for children in its care.
PSF pulls reports directly from a the Florida Safe Families Network's statewide database and cross checks it with its own records. "That tells us which kids are on psychotropics. We review that list...to make sure we're in compliance."
Salamida said the organization also holds frequent "staffings," regular reviews of cases that bring together caseworkers, quality management staff, attorneys and parents in some situations.
The lead agency that managed Myers case, ChildNet, said it "is one of the few Community Based Care lead agencies throughout the state that has internal policies and procedures in place to document and monitor use of psychotropic medications. Our policy and procedures were in place since our inception in 2005."
Sheldon stressed that it's important for parental consent to be actual informed consent rather than on paper only. In the case of Gabriel Myers, for instance, Gabriel's mother signed a blank consent form when she was high on drugs, Sheldon said.
"It's not just enough to get a signed parental consent form," Sheldon said. "It must clearly be informed. That means the parent is clearly explained the use of psychotropics."
Gabriel, who had been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) had been prescribed Vyvanse in December 2008. In the weeks leading up to his death, he had also been prescribed Lexapro, which was later discontinued and replaced with Symbyax.
Asked for his own views on the use of psychotropic drugs, Sheldon said: "I'm not a psychiatrist, and I'm not anti-medication. But I have serious questions when it comes to the administration of psychotropic drugs to children. I think it should be done as a last resort" and then only when reviewed by medical professionals.
At Family Services of Metro Orlando, Kurth is considering using a medical consultant to review any prescription for psychotropics made for one of its children. He does not intend to become a final say on the drugs, but thinks a consultant can make sure doctors have considered every option and asked every question before resorting to serious medication.
More info on the Myers case: www.dcf.state.fl.us/admin/GMWorkgroup/index.shtml
Alaska earthquake Hotness: Volcanic Google Trends
5.4-magnitude quake rocks Alaska
The temblor 'was a good one,' an Anchorage fire spokeswoman says, but no injuries or major damage is reported.
By Kate Linthicum
2:10 PM PDT, June 22, 2009
A 5.4-magnitude earthquake struck near Anchorage today, the U.S. Geological Survey reported. It did not cause any injuries or major damage, according to officials in the city, Alaska's largest.
The quake hit at 11:28 a.m. local time, the survey said. Its epicenter was about 60 miles northwest of Anchorage.
"It was a good one," said Jennifer Collins, a spokeswoman for the Anchorage Fire Department. "Oh, yeah, we definitely felt it. It shook and then it subsided a bit and then it shook again."
Collins said the fire department has not received calls related to the earthquake. Hendrik Van Hemert, a spokesman for the mayor's office, said the city had no reports of major damage.
The earthquake was felt as far away as Fairbanks, a spokeswoman for the Alaska Earthquake Information Center said.
Come Up the Ladder to the Roof
I'm a Motown baby. I was 13 when MLK and Bobby were killed. 1968. Snipers on the roof and tanks in the streets.
I was doing acid by then so I thought it was cool. Just a child who thought the world worked that way because it did. My father drank and did pills. So did my mother. So did I. Home sweet home.
So I went up on the roof, tripping my ass off. I saw heaven and hell.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
RE: We did a lot of emails
Pattern Recognition is a novel by science fiction writer William Gibson published in 2003. Set in August and September 2002, the story follows Cayce Pollard, a 32-year-old marketing consultant who has a psychological sensitivity to corporate symbols.
The novel's central theme involves the examination of the human desire to detect patterns or meaning and the risks of finding patterns in meaningless data. Other themes include methods of interpretation of history, cultural familiarity with brand names, and tensions between art and commercialization.
Have you read it? I deal in religious themes and commercial populism. More raw and transparent than one might think. Particularly music. Think Who and Hendrix. Sex which is why I relate to Gay people. Drugs which is my BoyPuppy and medical marijuana advocacy become thematic. Commercialization is mass fiction and so many people have become characters to iconography.
I am sorting out fiction from fact but it comes from facing questions of mortality and not morality. I also learned in the past week that the situation was so "Kafkaesque" (The term, which is quite fluid in definition, has also been described as "marked by a senseless, disorienting, often menacing complexity.) that I have blended my experiences and time sequences. I had never been to a hospital and suddenly I'm narcotized and hooked to machines that kept screeching and no one responded. And released! Three times. It reminded me of things in a previous time capsule which I had no emotional connection to the experiences that I was involved. My reality stream became like mixing paint together until there is no swirl and only new color. BZ. I know about mind control for some reason.
BoyPuppy was a code name for the Armenian Codex. Complex relationships. Destiny and identity. Then it changed. The people and time capsules are all real. I was there. Does that make it true? Depends on the definition of true. For me my reality has incorporated all these stories. They happened. Like light through a prism, I am separating out the hues. They are there where they were not before. It has taught me about re identification, false memories, imprint plasticity and event association and how you can redistribute the content of your brain. Mind is more will than truth. Will is more imposition than improvisational. What happened to me changed the formula. I have transitioned from subconscious to participation in the process because I have a feeling I will need this new tool for survival.
So look at my dates. 1977-the LSD conference and Hoffmann's first trip to America. By 1980, LSD has disappeared for the most part. The experiment failed. But are you looking at the new lists of psychotropics. I want to hook you into emails I have with XXX and XXX who know the new chemists and financiers. They are a bit alarmed by my candid portrayal of events. Big pharma has always payed a part but we are becoming more prescribed including with children. More controllable psychotropics.
So the story has to include my latest escapades. As scary as it has been at times, I have learned how to trigger and restructure my own memory boxes or pattern recognition. Lifewave. What a trip! Now my patch princess is Marilyn Monroe doing Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. (Remember Grandmother's OZ books).
I'm watching "The Life and Times of Harvey Milk". You should. It's on the blog. Won an Oscar in 1984. I used to blow weed with the guys that put that together. They all had AIDS and died not much thereafter. Take a look a this link. That's where I lived in the City. Right off the Castro if you notice. I watched 7500 young men, boys really at our age now, die with very little compassion from anyone including a lot of their gay friends. Scared and lonely. In my neighborhood. So my thematic structures are warped by that experience of several years. That's why my experience with the City is very personal. Like cutting yourself with razorblades. The fascination becomes the compulsion.
I had a lousy day. I'm scared about Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. Truth is such a malleable subject for me and I have a lot of brain tests. Like Dad, if I am going, there must be something wrong. Anything but a hypochondriac. But I can't just live on seizure medication without a diagnosis. Very weird thing happened with marijuana. I can't smoke it at all now. Just like that. Makes my heart hurt physically. So my whole physiology is altered. I am pretty much on a liquid diet but actually gaining not losing. I make some great smoothies with coconut milk (high caloric) soybean isolate, greens with probiotic, oat bran and chocolate. Not bad actually and it keeps my nourishment up. Oh and nutritional yeast which is not only high in B but has 8 grams of protein in each half teaspoon and I do like six tablespoons in there. I am using fish oil because of my cardio issues. I have fresh lemons and ginger for blood thinning. And carrot juice. I make my own black beans and do a bean and rice burrito at night.
So I don't have a great need to tell my younger siblings all my stories. They know them like they imagine them and I am OK with that. I think XXX grapples with her son's sexual identity so I am quite candid with her. I think his issues are more relative to a high rate of social anxiety which causes displacement and these kinds of boys are ripe for sexual conflict as I know. But I truly don't follow the model that sexuality is imprinted at birth. I was my experience to not self identify until I was about thirty. I had a complex sexual life until then. Oddly enough, those issues became resolved when I had a relationship with a bisexual psych nurse who spoke french.
We had a relationship in 2002 (12 years later) as well but she was uncomfortable with the fact that I did not self identify as bisexual anymore. I think she felt that follows the trend of becoming more gay if you will but that was not the case with me. I make a lousy gay person anyway. Way to unPC and I get into all kinds of conflicts with gay people about the politics of marriage and monogamy. Goes under my heading of resolving social anxiety psychosis. And I have found the most homophobic people are gay. A good friend of mine is a female Jewish gay psychotherapist and she thinks I'm gay and subconsciously homophobic because I tell her things like all married gays that were grandfathered into law without the benefit being transferred to others is hypocritical and they should all annul until equal protection. She's married to another female psychotherapist. They are younger than me and I tell them about the AIDS days when the community got divided between positive and negative and the separation causes classicism which is rampant in the gay community. That and I can't stand older (my age) male gays that cross dress out of the goodwill. Disgusting! Now XXX is a preop transsexual, which is becoming more common because they want to keep their dicks and I call them the third sex. Young gays a pretty cool because they don't have many brick wall but I do worry about their cloud control because they are so open and are not aware of the transitions they will experience with their sexuality possibly.
I fight for human rights which includes religion and sexuality and drugs. Or, as I have learned faith, intimacy and consciousness. I learned the hard way.
Happy Fathers Day!. You have been a great brother in this. I am more open to treatment now because you took an interest. Sorry I am rattling but I got nervous about all this testing. Mortality is easier to grasp than psychosis and that is how I stayed alive. I like your phrases like pattern recognition. I heard Obama talk about we just can't tilt into windmills and I like your phrase better.
It all made me more compassionate. I can accept that as the end point of this experience. I didn't hate, feel cheated or lose my zest for life. I just see people deeper.
As for the picture, Mimi wondered what I looked without the layers so I showed her! That's 135. I was looking at 30 in waist jeans but I just couldn't do it. My wardrobe is basically 34. So I'm wearing silk and sweats and I go out during the day. I don't care. In a nice way! Just and FYI, they called me while I was writing a rescheduled my cat scan for Tues. No problem. Then I will see my doctor later in the afternoon which works for me because she listens to my fears. Neurologist on Thursday. Strange thing is I don't have any idea what to expect and I thrive on expectation.
Love you
Subject: RE: We did a lot of emails
Date: Sun, 21 Jun 2009 09:38:59 -0400
From:
To:
I was just thinking this morning that I want to stay in regular email communication with you. Even if they are short messages. But yes, some really interesting stuff did come out and I will be happily sorting it all out over the next couple of months.
When you started writing, I don’t know what kind of “pattern recognition” was at play, but I knew that we needed to do what we did. I don’t know if I told you this already, but as you wrote, there would be sentences of clarity in which you would discuss what was happening to you or answers to questions that I asked. But I had to really read everything in order to find these. At one point, I culled through the emails to date and pulled out all of these and they told the story of what was happening to you.
From:
Sent: Saturday, June 20, 2009 12:52 AM
To:
Subject: We did a lot of emails
Did you do a search. Lot of conversation. Thanks. It kept me glued. Some interesting stuff. Amazing what you learn when your mind explodes on the internet. You have to understand, it was like a form a torture. I would seize, go by ambulance to the hospital, get pumped with drugs, lay there catatonic, get discharged and know it would all happen again for about eleven days. Sometimes I couldn't even take the ride and sometimes I would seize when I got home. It was like really bad psychotropics. That's why I used the term "Jacobs Ladder'.
I didn't know how else to stay in my mind. Pretty cool brother of you. Probably saved my life or further deterioration. I needed to be hospitalized obviously. That remains the mystery to me. It was rather cruel.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
We are one carnage
And then the video cuts off.
The Iranian resistance needs to avenge this cruel death. Neda's tragic death is a powerful symbol of the severe repression of the Iranian people under the dictatorship of the Ayatollahs. The only hope for Iran's future is that they realize their faith need not guide their government, and that they wrest power from the Mullahs and the theocracy.
Just looking for hits
It's spicy on the list of Google Trends. Can I say it. The 2012 Movie trailer. Yes, everybody's BEEN talking.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Black Magic Woman 1970-I've known a few