To tell this story you have to know Babs first. She was my first girlfriend. Not my first sexual experience. We were friends. Babs was unusual from the get go. She she was born with a fetus in fetu. A fetus in fetu (or fœtus in fœtu) is a developmental abnormality: a mass of tissue inside the body that more or less resembles a fetus. It was not discovered until the age of eleven and to make matters worse (for her), she was a fully developed woman by that age. That is how they discovered it. So she had problem with guys. Men mostly that liked to fuck little girls. To make matters worse her family was Amish and they saw it as a sign of evil so she was banished to a big farmhouse to herself. She went to my school, irregularly like my self and we would hang out quite a bit and do drugs. I like her. Still do even though she ids dead. She had a certain perceptive quality about her and was totally uninhibited. Needless to say this relation did not strike well with my recently recovered and mayor elected father or mother so I was banished from the house and live on the farm with Babs. She was Barbara at the time. The doctors to her she would never get pregnant. But she did and we raised a son named Sean still being teenagers ourselves.
Sean was blond, smart, cute and completely free. He liked the outdoors and slept with us always. He was the third person. So he was growing up faster than his parents who by then did not go to school. I managed to graduate by having connections in a small town, But for Barbara, I was her connection and I know now how I failed. I regret I did not love her for her mind or emotions. She was sexy, liked to trip and take care of me. Treated me like her baby brother. She was older. It seemed like such an age difference then but when I buried her at 38. I realized she was just a baby.
Barbra's greatest fascination was sex. Of course, it wasn't her fault and it wasn't my disappointment. It would however share in our own individual downfall. She liked male lovers and she liked female lovers. She didn't particularly like to share but her lovers did. Not very subtle or loyal. Looking for what everyone looked for in Barbie (her acid queen name). Long legs, large breasts and a shapely ass. Funny thing was, she was a real homey kind of person and liked to cook. I found her very nurturing when we would wind down.
Like all manic/depressives she was absent when she was wound up. But she always brought home good stuff. Weed mostly and drunken young guys. She knew her game. Liked to double up. So we would swing in her manic phase. But we had a child too so I liked to keep it somewhat level.
I always knew without Barbie there would have been no BoyPuppy. She eventually split with a cute little lesbian lover, Sean went to live with his aunt and I started doing my own thing. I was glad actually. She was too controlling. I wanted to get involved in school and I had no idea how much time would go by before I saw Sean again.
In fact, it was on her way to Colorado to pick him up in November 1978 that she was kidnapped at a bus station in San Jose. No cell phones then. I thought she was on her way. But she was being repeatedly chocked and sexually assaulted for a week.
I got a call at 3:30AM November 11. I didn't even know who it was but I knew she was in trouble. "Please Justin, please help me." Little did I know how those words would change the course of all three of our lives.
I never could help her. I tried but we regressed into very psychotic war play. Not really play though. Rough stuff. meant to hurt. I know Sean got the worst of all. It's very hard to discuss Barbara. She's buried not to far from where I live now and sometimes I feel her ghost in agony. This is where she sleeps now. Sleep well my Baby.
But we are well ahead of our story. This was February 1989. A lot happened in the meantime.
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